I recently had the honor of reviewing FAMILY TOOLBOX from the National Center for Biblical Parenting (NCBP). When I was asked to join the NCBP launch team for Parenting UnChained: Overcoming the Ten Deceptions That Shackle Christian Parents, I could hardly contain my excitement! This book is definitely a resource I can use with parenting my kiddos.
About the Book:
In Parenting Unchained – Overcoming the Ten Deceptions that Shackle Christian Parents, Dr. James D. Dempsey reveals the ten most destructive lies about parenting. He writes from the heart about the way these lies infected his own parenting, and illuminates the Bible’s powerful truths that counter each lie. Both Biblical and practical, each section ends with home activities to help parents take immediate steps to develop their kids’ character–character that lasts when they leave home.
The last chapters focus on the most important adjustments parents must make with teenagers to prepare them for independence. Weaving humor into strong warnings, Parenting Unchained points out the hazards that derail the parenting journey.
How many of us have been caught in the trap of Satan. You know what I am talking about, where more than anything you want to raise your kids up in a Godly home yet you end up parenting without God at all. I know from experience in my parenting, especially parenting a child who has ADHD/Aspergers, that if you don’t have God front and center in all our parenting it is not going to work. Trust me. I know!
So many times I hear parents say that they wish God had written a parenting guide-book. That they wish God would just tell them what to do. However, the truth is, he has. He has given us his unfallable word in his HOLY Book—The Bible. We just have to trust him to guide us. Some times that is easier said then done. If we sit back and learn from Christ, we can apply those lessons to our life, our parenting!
In Parenting UnChained, Dr. James Dempsey, the author discusses the following deceptions (pgs 11-13):
- Deception 1: It’s All About Your Kids; Your Character Doesn’t Matter. But God says your character is the foundation of your parenting.
- Deception 2: You’re Capable; You can do this. But God didn’t intend for parenting to be done apart from Him. You need the wisdom found in His word.
- Deception 3: God Only Cares About Rules. This is a lie from Satan. He spread this lie because he is the author of confusion. Parenting in God’s model requires a love relationship.
- Deception 4: You can Be a Parent Without Investing Much Time. This is another lie from Satan. He wants you to believe that you just don’t have to invest much time in your children. The truth however is that God-modeling parents show life and a lot of time with their children.
- Deception 5: Teaching the Right Information Is Enough. Satan wants you to believe that as long as you teach your children the right information that is enough. However, God modeled what he taught.
- Deception 6: Why and How you Discipline Don’t Matter—Just make them obey! Satan says that why and how we discipline do not matter, so long as we make them obey! However, God disciplined His children in ways that touched the heart. WOW, this is one I needed to hear!!!!
- Deception 7: You don’t Need to Talk About Your Faith. Another lie from Satan is a growing trend nowadays. That you don’t have to talk about your faith. God however taught the truth directly and diligently.
- Deception 8: Children Should Choose Their Life Course (You don’t need to help them). Satan says that children should choose what to do with their lives; therefore, you don’t need to help them see their mission. God gave His children a mission and prepared them for it.
- Deception 9: It’s All About Consistency (You Don’t Need To Adapt). Satan says that good parenting is all about consistency! WOW if I had a dollar every time I heard that or read it. God though adapted his methods and relationship with his children.
- Deception 10: Life Should Be Easy. Satan has convinced parents that life should be easy for their children. This is a damaging lie! God sends His children into a hostile world with a life-or-death mission.
On page 15 as I was reading down the page a sentence caught my eye. “Parents don’t consciously ignore their sins, but in the heat of the parenting battle, they find it easier to see their kids’ problems then to see their own.” OUCH! WOW!!! That is so true. I know that this has happened to me especially with Bookworm. He is the ultimate strong-willed child. It is so easy to get focused on another’s sin that you just don’t get your sinning in the process!
As I continued to read and Neil’s birth was presented, I was actually moved to tears. I could so relate to a similar situation when Nemo was born. Although a different diagnosis, I can imagine what the emotions were of mom who was holding down the home front.
On page 21 this quote jumped out at me. ” When we so treasure a sin (we regard it) that we ignore God’s plan, we undermine the relationship of prayer. Because I treasured my right to set my own rules, I had ignored God and He stopped hearing me—a classic communication breakdown.”
UGH, how many times have we done the same thing? Ignored God’s plan?
Page 27, ” While we can’t watch God life out a traditional role as parent, the Bible allows us to see God act as a parent in two separate situations: 1) The God of the Old Testament parents the nation of Israel, and 2) Jesus parents a band of followers, His disciples. Both interactions illustrated how God parented His children-stubborn, disobedient, thick-headed children.”
I could list quote after quote from this wonderful book. I was really impressed with it. I am so impressed that I can’t wait until Clay comes home again. When he does I am going to see if I can get him to go through the book again with me. Since he is attending seminary and this book is not just full of parenting advice, it is full of Godly advice, it would be a wonderful resource to add to his library.
I would highly recommend this parenting book for all parents and those who work with children in any capacity! Great insight. I give it a 5/5!!!
Right now it is on sale on amazon click the picture below to check it out!