Modest Prom Dresses
It is that time of the year to start looking for dresses for your daughters! Dresses for proms, dresses for formals, dresses for semi-formals, it is such a wonderful time to make memories for daughters as well as mothers. It’s likely that you began shopping for dresses months ago. If you have already started this sometimes tedious process, I hope you will hear my heart in this post. Last year at prom time I sat scrolling down my news feed and my heart broke, literally broke!
My mom was not keen on any dances at school. She was raised to not participate in them, even though she did attend one prom herself, but not by choice. One of her classes required she attend prom and she had to fulfill the requirements in order to graduate. I, on the other hand, loved prom. It was was such an exciting time with my mom! I have so many memories of this time with her. The memories of all the talks we had while making the trip to Lexington to pick out my dress. I remember the vast selection and remember all the dresses I could picture myself in. One thing is for sure though, my mom and I was always modest in our selection. She was raised to be a modest woman and she raised me to be a modest woman. She was pretty strict on what I wore. As much as I surely can ride a horse and shoot a gun, and I enjoyed making my share of mud pies growing up, my mom raised me to be a lady. Part of being a lady is embracing femininity. Sadly, these days that seems to be a dying art.
As I sat scrolling through my news feeds and seeing the beautiful young ladies in their prom dresses, I began reading the comments left by various people. I was astonished, for lack of a better word. I wondered WHY my friends would allow their daughters to wear dresses like the ones I was looking at. Most of the dresses that I saw barely covered anything! These beautiful young ladies ranged in ages from middle school through high school. The comments I read included, “Wow! Look how hot!!!”, “You’re SMOKIN!!”, and “HOT!!!” Mommas, is that really how you want your daughters to be known? Even if she is a senior in high school, do you want her to be known by how “smokin” hot she was on prom? Why not be known as a beautiful young lady who looked like a lady?
I may ruffle some feathers over this post and I am sorry. I love you all no matter what clothing you or your children wear. Because I love you, I need to speak out about this. It was not so long ago that if a girl wore as little fabric as
some most every girl did last year, they would be labeled some not so nice names….wait actually they still are. My friends, when a person looks at a picture of your daughters and posts “smokin hot”, they are not seeing her inner beauty; they are not even seeing her outer beauty. They are seeing a piece of “meat”.
The posts bothered me so much and I have prayed for these girls. What makes me the most sad is that every single picture I saw on my feed of girls like this were from Christian homes. What are we teaching our sons and daughters? I know that God loves us regardless of our clothing, but let us not forget the scripture and the teachings that we as mommas should pass on to our children, sons and daughters alike –women are to adorn themselves in modest apparel. This doesn’t say every night except prom, or if short sequence dresses are in style then it’s okay to toss it all in for one night. We are to adorn ourselves in modest apparel ALL the time.
You see, sisters and friends, we should be set apart as Christians, even at proms, formals and semi-formals. We are to be in the world but not OF the world. We have to take a stand, even during prom. If you are a mother, please teach your daughters that they must cover their bodies. They must keep their bodies sacred for their husbands. They must not follow the crowd. It is so important to teach them this. I know that it is hard being in school with peer pressure, especially for teens. I know they all want to fit in but they can still look absolutely beautiful at prom or any formal and still be covered. They can still go and have the time of their life, but they can do it and know their Lord is smiling down on them, seeing that they took a stand for what was right.
When did elegance and dressing like a lady get thrown out the window for prom? Here is a great article to read about someone else who asks this, too. Click HERE to read the article.
Recently, I posted an article for dressing appropriately for military formals and much of that applies to prom. While most girls wore very, very short dresses, strapless dresses baring cleavage and dresses with no sleeves last year to prom, evening attire for these formals should be longer lengths. Homecomings are generally where shorter dresses are worn, but they still should be a modest length and cover our bodies modestly.
Here is something else to think about. The Bible tells us to not be a stumbling block to others. Ladies, if you’re out at the mall and your husbands are lusting after a woman who was dressed in similar fashion to what the short skimpy styles are for prom, wouldn’t you have an issue with that? In this day and age men have enough problems with porn and lust. We should be taking great pains, especially those of us who are Christians, to not lay a trap for them. Many of the problems men have with porn starts as teens! So what are we doing to the young men at proms by sending them out to prom with a daughter that is barely dressed and expecting them to “behave themselves?” YES, men are accountable for their own sins. YES, men should be responsible for their own actions around young ladies. However, teen boys with raging hormones and barely dressed young ladies just do not mix! We like to assume that our daughters will make the right choices during this memorable evening, but the power of persuasion from peer pressure and young men with raging hormones can be difficult to overcome. This is a father’s nightmare because he remembers how he was at that age.
My husband remembers his prom vaguely. However, he does remember the level of respect and courtesy he had for the dresses his classmates wore to prom. He viewed the young ladies wearing the modest clothing as pure and innocent, but the young ladies wearing more provocative dresses as wild and hot. My husband is a stand-up man and a strong Christian raising our boys to be strong Christians. But as a teen with raging hormones, he was no different than the teens with raging hormones today. This is how boys think and this is how you must think when picking out the right dress.
Before I get into the rest of this post, I have another take on prom I want to share with you. This is where my mom got her thought about proms from and, honestly, this is something my husband and I will have to be in prayer about as our boys grow older.
Attention Young People and Parents!
5 Biblical Reason Why Saved Young People Should NOT Attend Prom:
My intention is not to hurt feelings, argue, or upset, but rather to make aware of the dangers of taking part in things such as prom.
1. Audio- Eph. 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;, Col. 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
– You may argue that these verses do not command us not to listen to secular music, and you are right. These verses state that someone who wants to please the Lord, someone who is Spirit filled, and someone who is walking in truth will not want to listen to the music of this world! The music played at proms promotes sensuality, perverseness, promiscuity, drunkenness, drug use, rebellion, ungodliness, etc. Parents is that what you are wanting to instill in your children? We wonder why they go astray, but then we allow this trash music into the ears of our young people. Now there will be an argument over this point, and probably the others, that “you shouldn’t go to Wal-Mart because they play the same music!” Let me say to that that there is a big difference in being exposed to it and being acceptant to it. We can’t control what we are exposed to in the world, but that doesn’t mean we have to put our stamp of approval on it. We should go to all lengths to protect the innocence in the minds and hearts of our young people. Whether it’s rap, rock, or the good ole boy’s country music it’s all worldly and promotes everything the Word of God is against! I doubt they’ll be playing Amazing Grace at the prom this season!
2. Apparel- 1 Tim. 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;,
1 Peter 3:3-4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
– Young ladies I plead with you “dress to be chaste, and not to be chased!” You may think less is best, but you have no idea what it does to the mind of a man. Shame on a daddy who will allow his daughter to go out with a boy for the night in tight, revealing, low-cut, and provocative clothing, and shame on the mama who promotes it and buys it. We are putting our daughters on display like they are some kind of sensual trophy! God help us! Young ladies I beg you to honor your body and give it to the Lord and the best way to do this is to cover it up. I’ve NEVER seen a modest prom dress. Young men by avoiding prom you are avoiding putting that temptation of lust and lasciviousness in your life. Modesty matters and it’s a matter of the heart!
3. Activities- 1 Cor. 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman.,
Col. 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.,
Prov. 6:27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
– What are the activities at prom? Well parents they’re not doing the boot scoot boogy! The most common form of dance today(which is promoted by all three genres I mentioned before) is what is called “bumping and grinding.” I’ll not iterate on this because of its vulgarity, but you can imagine what it means. Now according to the above verse(1 Cor. 7:1) “it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” This verse nor any of the others is up for debate. This verse means what it says and says what it means! When these young people are dancing they are going directly against the Word of God! You may say “David danced before the Lord” but my friend that was a holy dance! A dance of worship and reverence to the Lord. It was not a dance of sensuality like the dances of today. When these young people take part in these kind of dances they are taking fire in their bosom and they will be burned. Notice in the verse in Colossians that is says “[do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus” it’s gonna be real hard to convince God that this dancing can be done in the name of the Lord Jesus.
4. Availability- 1 Thess. 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.,
2 Tim. 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 Tim. 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
– When you send your young person off to prom for the night you are giving them over to the wiles of the Devil! They will be presented with opportunities of sex, alcohol, drugs, etc. and they’ll be nothing you can do to stop it. You may say “I trust my teenager,” but the only problem with that is they are made out of the same flesh as we are, and they are just as wicked as we are! At prom teens are put in adult situations without the decision-making skills and judgement of an adult. They’ll be things they see at these proms they’ll unfortunately never forget. Is their purity worth it? Is their mind worth it? Is their future worth it? Certainly it is not! Parents please don’t corrupt your children with these events and young people make a decision on your own not to go!
5. Aftermath- Gal. 6:7-8 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
– After prom parties, riding alone to and from prom, sensuality while there, opportunities to be sexually active that have never been presented before. These are the seeds that will be sown at prom. Seeds that are planted will come up! Harvest is coming! They’ll be overdoses, drunkenness, arrests, fornication, std’s, pregnancy out-of-wedlock, rape, drug use, and even death the nights of prom. You say “not my child!” I hope not, but why put them into the position to possibly be “that one” that falls. Children are a heritage from the Lord and are to be protected and nurtured; not fed to the Devil. I have story after story of young people and parents who said “not me and not mine,” but oh the mess they are in now!
Young person if you miss prom you’re not missing out you are being spared! Parents do the right thing and avoid this thing called prom. Take a stand be different! Be a light for Christ! God bless and share this message to everyone you know. This quote was taken from Christ Chloe’ Hewett a Facebook brother in Christ and his website can be viewed by clicking HERE.
This is a special time for you and especially your daughters. Who wants to be the parent that forbid their daughter to attend prom? If you have prayerfully considered allowing your sons or daughters to attend prom, how do you find a modest prom dress? Here are some tips for both the parent and the daughter:
1. Know what true modesty is and what your limits are. Biblical modesty does state that the thighs should not be showing and that your chest should be covered. Those are private areas that should be reserved for your husband (someday girls!). If you are unsure on the level of modesty you should go to, I would encourage you to first speak with your parents or whomever is in authority over you. If you are married and reading this for a formal affair, ask your husband what he thinks. If your parent is not a Christian, you should still still ask for their opinion. I would also encourage you to find a Christian lady who dresses modestly that can mentor you and even assist you in picking out a modest dress that is in accordance with God’s Word.
2. Don’t go shopping until you have a modest dress in mind and you have a plan. If you go without knowing what is modest, you may make a purchase that you regret. When you get to the store, be upfront with the clerk and explain what you want and what your boundaries are. Tell the associate you are looking for a modest dress for your event and give a description of the dress (i.e. length, top, sleeves, etc). Take someone else with you that knows modesty. This will be a huge help!
3. Keep in mind that many dresses can be altered to be more modest. You can make necklines higher and lengths longer. You can also add fabric to places that need it. So keep that in mind as well.
4. I have found formal gowns that I loved, but were sleeveless. I use a shawl, shrug, or dressy jacket for more coverage. The use of any of these can bring out the color pattern of the dress or the shoes, plus it adds elegance.
5. Remember your actions at prom. If you get a modest dress and act provocative, all the hard work that went into you finding a modest dress will be all for nothing. Dress like a lady and act like a lady, too.
Here are some LOVELY prom dress choices: If you click the pictures they will take you to the original website or pinterest.
(Image From Pinterest)
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Here are some of my own dresses that I have worn to military functions and formals. Same principle of modesty applies.
I hope this post encourages you to seek the Lord to guide you in all things, including Prom and formal events.