Churches: It’s Time To Stand UP and Talk about Modesty!
Look around you – the world screams sex. You can try to escape this reality by watching a nice, wholesome, modest television show; but prepare yourself for Viagra commercials, commercials for birth control pills, commercials showing scantily dressed women and the list goes on. Sometimes, the nice, wholesome program you think you’re watching has a plot or scenes that are simply immoral. You decide to visit the mall, but again, you’re faced with mannequins that are dressed in clothing that barely covers their plastic silhouettes. Although the mannequins cannot speak, the outfit screams, “HEY look at me! Look at my body. Imagine how people will stare and lust at you if you buy this outfit!” The advertisements, to include the mannequins, posters, pictures, commercials, etc., are now advertised in more sexual and sensual ways. No longer are the items about brand name and clothing material; instead, it’s the sex that sells. It’s the sexual and sensual appeal that drives younger women to strive to be accepted by society. You go out to eat and all around you are women AND men who are dressed very indecent.
You go to church early to attend Sunday School/Bible Studies/Life Groups, but sitting next to your husband is a woman whose breasts would have been more covered in a bikini probably. She doesn’t know that your husband had a porn addiction previously. Walking into the sanctuary, you see the cross which represents Jesus dying for your sins, you see the Bibles, the people are so friendly, but as you sit and prepare to become reverent, to focus on the Word of God, a lady comes into church and finds the row in front of your husband. Her skirt is very form-fitting. Her backside would have been just as covered had she only wore large leaves from a maple tree.
The songs are ending, the sermon is going to start—-she drops her pen and bends over to get it….
As a wife sitting beside the husband who is trying desperately to keep his eye fixed elsewhere and yet praise and worship his God, this is a horrible position to be. Take away any porn addictions and the question remains: Why should men who desperately want to worship the Lord be faced with this each week in church.
The Bible says:
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Scripture commands that we dress modestly. So, if that is the case, why do so many churches seem to avoid it? Well, one reason is because many young ladies are not taught about modesty at home. They wear shorter and shorter dresses for dances, proms, and homecoming. They want to “fit in;” however they are wanting to fit into the world. Many parents do not know how to approach this subject. Instead, the discussion goes something like this: “Well, you shouldn’t judge someone because of what they wear” or “that is legalism”. Many teen girls compare dressing modestly as dressing Amish. I’m not insinuating that dressing similar to Amish is a bad thing. I have friends who wear cape dresses and they are beautiful, lovely ladies who have a heart for Jesus. I think many churches have taken a hands-off approach to this thinking it should be something that is taught and discussed at home. But is it being discussed at home? I have been witness to sermons speaking out against gay marriage and what scripture says; sermons speaking out against drugs; sermons speaking out against premarital sex; alcohol; the many vices of life that keep us yoked to the sins of our youth; and the list continues. Why are churches NOT speaking out for modesty? I would hope that more churches would stand up and speak out on women adorning themselves in modest apparel. As the world strengthens its hold on people, dresses get shorter, shorts go higher, tops go lower and more and more skin is exposed, we, as a church, need to carry a Titus 2 mentoring attitude.
If you are a Christian girl in church, please do not be like the example above. You are known by your fruits. If you are dressing and showing off all your goods, what kind of witness do you have to your friends, to your family, and to those who sit in church with you? Are you causing your brother to stumble by your attire? Is it possible he is trying desperately to fix his eyes on Jesus but your hem line is so short that his eyes are fixed upon your curves? I realize we cannot be responsible for another’s sin, but God put those words in the Bible for a reason – we should love our brother more than ourselves. So, wouldn’t that include our clothing choices as well? If you are causing a brother to stumble, then that is not okay. We have to think about the men in church, teens, and even young boys! In this sex crazed world, ladies, we have to be careful not to follow the crowd on what is popular. Instead, we can find a way to take what is fashionable and make it modest. I do that all the time! Check out the following verses:
Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall. 1 Corinthians 8:9-13
I realize that we also have to be careful not to go to extremes on what modesty is, and what it isn’t. I am skirts mostly, but there are times I do wear pants, culottes, or capris. Being too extreme can quickly become and idol itself and become legalism. Again, this is another reason I think the church avoids this topic.
If you are a Pastor in a church, I urge you to take a stand and speak out about Modesty. Do a sermon on why it is important and/or invite a speaker if necessary. Do a ladies fashion show for the teens showing how modesty doesn’t have to be boring, or out of date. Encourage and check in with your leaders to see that they are speaking of modesty—often.
If you work with teens, please teach them about modesty! It is becoming a dying art. You could even invite someone to show the girls how to do make-up in a God glorifying way (with the permission of the parents, of course). You could invite someone to talk with them who dresses modestly in the church. You could possibly take a shopping trip and show them how to pick out and put together modest outfits. Do a fashion show showcasing modest clothing.
The Bible is our ultimate authority on what we say, how we dress, and how we act. God’s word is truth. He gave it to us to teach us how to live for Him. Also, there are the intangibles, so to speak. For example, if God wanted us to wear or not wear XY or Z, He would have said so, right? Not exactly. The Bible does give some wonderful guidelines and specific information on what is considered modest and what isn’t. For the things that are not specified, we must go to the Lord in prayer and seek Him. We are also encouraged to seek the guidance of those in authority in our churches. Have you went to the Lord lately about your clothing? Are you listening for Him to reply? Are you seeking Him for answers?
For more on my Modesty series that may help you get started on your own path to modesty, read the following links:
Also, coming soon!!! I will be finishing the series I started a few weeks ago about porn with many resources. I also will be starting a series about purity! So stay tuned!!!
As always what did I wear? It was so hot here last week! One evening we went out to dinner to celebrate my moms 72nd birthday. So here is my outfit:)
It was so bright it was hard to get good pictures!!!
I feel as though I need to provide an explanation for cutting my hair. Unfortunately, I wasn’t left with much of a choice. My hair has been falling out in huge clumps. Currently, I am being checked out for thyroid issues and other tests as well. Prior to my hair falling out, I had problems with getting a pony-tail holder around my hair. Now, I have no issues. Until I am able to get the results of the tests, I am continuing to use Young Living Essential Oils to help find a remedy and a cure for the cause. I did speak to my hubby before I had it cut and we agreed this was the best plan until I find out more detail.
Headband: Lilla Rose
Dress: Apostolic Clothing
Tank: Not sure brand, bought at the Exchange for layering
Sweater: Dress Barn bought on sale
Make-Up: Mary Kay